Can you identify an abusive relationship? Would you be able to identify it if you were in one? I was not only in one; I became an abuser by doing what I was taught. This is how it happens with most. God tells us that the sins from our parents are passed down from generation to generation. Be the first to put a stop to it like I did. When Papa God began to open my eyes to my wrong behavior, I listened and made changes. Changes aren’t easy, but there will be rewards if you are persistent.
Just so that you know, abuse does not have to be physical, as in hitting. It can manifest in spiritual, emotional and verbal abuses, and it doesn’t stop there.
Remember, there is always hope, not only for the abuser, but for the abused. First, as with anything new, is to recognize it. Below is the article, compliments of “Women’s Center of San Joaquin County” on Domestic Violence. Give it a read and keep an open mind. Remember, to seek this out in your life first before you examine your neighbor, friend or relative.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence defined: The mental or physical abuse of one person by another, with whom the abused has a significant and intimate relationship.
Verbal Abuse – actual threats of harm directly to the person or to someone close to that person, threats to take the children, to commit suicide; putdowns, name calling, sarcasm; putting down religious beliefs or ethnic background.
Intimidation – Smashing things, destroying property, putting fist through wall, handling of guns or other weapons, intimidating body language (angry looks, raised voice), hostile questioning, reckless driving
Emotional Abuse – Manipulation, denial, withdrawl of affection, control, extreme jealousy, and possessiveness
Isolation – Controlling what the person does, who he/she sees and talks to, where he/she goes; keeping him/her from making any friends, talking to family, having a job, or having money
Physical – Pushing, shoving, hitting, slapping, strangling, hair-pulling, punching, punching, grabbing, kicking, beating, biting, shaking, burning, using a weapon (i.e. knives, guns, heaving objects)
Sexual – Forcing the person to perform s**ual acts he/she doesn’t want to do or that cause pain or humiliation, r*pe, physically attacking the s**ual parts of his/her body, forcing him/her to have s** with others
Denial of Rights – Not allowing the person any privacy, locking him/her up in a room, tying him/her to a chair, forcing him/her to go without food or water, not allowing him/her to bathe, hiding necessary medication.
If you find yourself in this article and need help, seek out someone you can trust like a family member, church or look for a domestic violence hotline. There is no need to stay in an abused relationship. I asked my girlfriend if she had one thing to say to you, what would it be? She said, “Learn to love you. Love yourself enough to know that you are worth it!”
I love you and God loves you more than you know. You are worth it!!