“No turning back”, I whispered to myself, as I thought about the roads I’ve traveled to become who I am today. I don’t ever want to go back to who I was. Never!
My journey, although different from yours, would have facets of similarities in thoughts, painful experiences and questions. Each journey is uniquely fashioned by Papa God himself… to fulfill and work into our lives that what is greatest for us. As I look at my life, past and present, I can see His handiwork, His fingerprints everywhere.
His fingerprints, the evidence left that He was here, looking after things, seeing to it that you had been taken care of in every possible way imaginable.
Prayer answered, doors opened, events coming together, lives changed. These are but some examples of His work in our lives. It’s endless, and His objective? Well, that our faith (Our confidence in Him), our love would grow and mature and that we would learn to endure the everyday situations with a joyful attitude. That our walk with Papa would be like it is with a best friend.
Stop and think about that a moment…
What are best friends like? We always have and make time for them. We laugh and cry with them, are always ready to listen and care very much what they have to say.
There were times I didn’t see His fingerprints and possibly I wasn’t looking for them. It could be that I just didn’t recognize them. I can assure myself though, they were there. Many times I got caught up into the mess of the situation, emotions flared, fear and worry crept in… it clouded my mind. Blocked me from seeing and hearing Him. My focus was lost in self and what was going to happen to me, rather than focused on Papa and what He was going to do. And you know, that never did serve me well. *snickers* I write that as though it’s past, and should actually word it present tense. It doesn’t ever serve me well! I have grown much since then and have learned to pray and watch for Him to show up.
“No turning back”, I kept whispering to myself. Back there was a young woman who didn’t know who she was or where she was going. I was so angry. I don’t miss her; Not at all. Filled with grief and loneliness, I muttered through my days fulfilled by the means of someone else’s dreams and desires for me. I was critical and judgmental, an easy behavior for someone who didn’t like themselves. If I could find fault with others then I didn’t feel as inadequate. Those self justifying feelings only lasted momentarily and were gone too fast to offer any sense of worth. I was miserable, and the funny thing about it… was no one knew. I learned how to hide my misery with false humility. I became a master of deception.
One day though, my pain and misery exceeded my comfort level and my cries to Papa were heard and answered. He re-arranged our circumstances to bring into our lives key people to help us leave that valley and start the journey towards the next.
As I journey towards my goal, growing to become more and more like Him… why don’t you join me? Come and taste and see that He is good! You won’t regret it. Ps 38:4