Mark 11:25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him…
Forgiveness expresses a positive attitude towards the one that hurt us, rather than a negative one.
The emotion most generally expressed when hurt is anger and if we focus on the one who hurt us, it’s so easy to become bitter. We use anger to hide our hurt like a shield, to protect us from feeling vulnerable.
However, if we can focus on what was done to us, we can look at what happened as character building. Often times, Papa puts us right in front of a mirror so we can see ourselves clearly.
How does He do that?
He allows a situation that will bring to attention an attitude or behavior that needs to be given over to Him for correction and healing.
One of my friends used to drive me nuts with her little antics and the things she would do. As I was expressing these things to Papa, He said, “Aren’t you guilty of each one of those things too?” It’s true. I behaved the same way and didn’t see it in myself, so God chose to bring me a mirror to open my eyes.
Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
Forgiveness views the person who hurt us as a tool in His hands.
King David got this.
In 2 Samuel 16:11 let him alone, and let him curse; for the LORD hath bidden him (to curse me).
Papa God uses even the wrath of man to praise Him, Ps 76:10. We can become very bitter of the wrong done to us or we can look at it as a great work Papa is allowing in our lives.
Even Jesus could’ve become bitter against those that beat Him and nailed him to the cross. He too understood that God uses all things to bring about His will and change in our lives.
Forgiveness helps us to look past ourselves and understand the wounds and psychology behind the one who did wrong.
Understanding what drives people to act out in bad behaviors, like…jealousy, malicious behavior, gossip, verbal attacks, controlling abusive behavior, etc… helps us to know how to move in love towards them.
We all have our story. There are those who have not seen a kind word from there parents, ever! Or those who feel so bad about themselves and are too embarrassed to share it! Or… I could write a book on the Or’s but you get the point. There is usually a reason why someone does what they do. Ask Papa and find out why so you can love them in spite of it, because forgiving another is having an even greater concern for them after they hurt us, than we did before they hurt us.
All evil acts are inspired by the devil and if we were always moving in and by the Spirit of God, there would be no wrongs done to each other. Think about it. When sin came so did hurts.
Forgiveness sees that bitterness is claiming a right that we don’t have. – This one hurt (ouch!)
God says that vengeance is His and He will repay.
Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Forgiveness starts with dealing with our own emotional responses to the situation. When we forgive, it allows us to have the same openness after they hurt us, as we did before.
We all mess up and when it’s my turn to ask for forgiveness, I would like as much grace shown to me as I give out. So I abundantly hand out grace.
When we’re hurt, it’s almost instinctive to want to take revenge on the one who hurt us. Revenge is not just doing harmful things to them but it’s shown passively too, for example…
The silent treatment, cold shoulder or rejection.
If we aren’t careful about our motives, we may find ourselves gossiping about our misfortune, to turn others against the one who did us wrong.
God is very clear though, He will handle the situation. We are to look at ourselves. What is God showing us about us?
Oh and if you want to take vengeance, guess what? That is another thing that needs to be dealt with in our heart.
Forgiveness realizes that the one who did wrong has already begun to feel the consequences of his/her own actions.
In order for us to be happy, there must be harmony and peace in ourselves and with others. When we hurt others, we have violated one of God’s principals.
Luke 10:27 He answered: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.
Romans 13:9 The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Galatians 5:14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
When we violate this principal we open the door to worry, guilt, self-justification, self-righteousness, etc.. This will eat away at our peace and happiness. We can assume that there is insensitivity in the one who has hurt us and that person is most likely hurting others too. In time they will suffer from those conflicts as well.
When they recognize what they’ve done, they will not allow us to help them in any way if we have not shown a loving spirit towards them through our attitudes. This can be a hard thing to do when we are hurting, but with Pap’s help, all things are possible, not in our own strength, but in His!
Forgiveness allows a great ministry.
When someone has hurt us, we can be sure that they are aware of our responses to them. It opens a door to a great opportunity to show what Papa God’s love is like. A family member did something to me that hurt me greatly. Then they abandoned me with all my hurt feelings. About a year later, they found themselves in need and I helped them out, without saying a thing. They approached me in private one night and said, “I know what I did to you, and you have said nothing to me. I didn’t deserve your help and yet you gave it. I am riddled with guilt and wanted to say I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” Their walk with Papa God has become deep and strong since then and I’m grateful He helped me forgive. It was all worth it!!!
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