We’re hurting.

We’re lonely.

We seek Jesus wondering if He is the answer.

Just recently, someone I met at the store spoke kind words to me and it’s just what I needed to hear. So I decide, this Sunday I am going to look for a church.

As I got close to the doors, I heard the worship. The singer’s voice echoed beauty that only the Holy Spirit gives. My spirit leaped within me. Surely this is the place I am going to stay, I thought. This is the place I will find a friend; the place where people will care about me.

Greeted at the door, the pastor and his wife introduce themselves. Others greet me. The service starts and I sit with a smile. One Sunday turns into two. Conversations ensue, I share about me.

After reaching out with my desperate need, I noticed the casual greeting this week and none at all on future visits. I sit through a few more sermons, praying, asking Jesus for one simple thing; if they are here to share how much You love us, why do they not love me? I never returned.


I meet this neat lady at the store and she made a complimentary remark. We talked for a little bit and exchange numbers. I excitedly tell my husband later that night about my chance meeting. I was so excited to have met such a neat Christian lady and she seemed so knowledgeable.

We talk several times. We took her up on her invite to church, spent several occasions with her and her family on after church lunches. I had let down my guard with her as trust grew and began to share some of what I struggled with. Shortly after, I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard my name mentioned while passing some ladies in church, too involved in their conversation to notice me. I listened and overheard them, “Yeah, I heard she has such problems, did ya hear that… She really needs prayer.”


Hearts stay broken. Spirits injured. Lives left with the fingerprints of a bruise… rather than the fingerprints of love and healing from our wonderful heavenly Father.

These are but a few examples of the devastation caused by the poison we spew, injuring others.

Jesus asks, “Must my flock feed on what you have trampled and drink what you have muddied with your feet?” Ezekiel 34:19

Many in your tour group arrived at the crystal clear cold mountain stream before you and started drinking, quenching their thirst from the long hike. Your dry parched mouth began anticipating the fresh water quenching your thirst as you lean down to drink, when a member of the group inconsiderately runs thru the water stirring up the sediment – turning the water a mucky brown. This is what the Holy Spirit showed me in this verse. We destroy the goodness of Papa God, making a mockery of His Word when we disregard His Word and teachings and live self-centered lives. Oh how it hurts people.

God is calling us, wooing us back to our first love, Jesus! He can turn things around. Are you ready?

Do we love Jesus more than these?

Jesus crucified and Risen, Peter has carried his sadness for betraying Jesus and now they are about to have their third meeting with the One that Loves them.

From the shore, Jesus called out, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” After an awesome provision given, they joined Him for breakfast. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs. Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. John 21:17

Jesus asks you and me, “Do you love Me more than these?”

Well do you?

He’s asking us if we love Jesus more than anything else in this world. There are a million things we could love more than Him with ourselves being at the top of the list.
We are hurting and being preyed upon by wolves disguised in the garb of a good Christian in sheep clothing. Must we, His children, bring such damage to His house (the body of Christ, not a church building) as well?

If we have to watch our backs within the safe-house walls – where can we have a safe haven to rest our tender spirits and feel loved and genuinely cared for?

Will we make mistakes and hurt others, of course we will. How we choose to handle it though shows the love and character of a Great person. Yes, I have experienced situations like those in the beginning many times, as I’m sure you have; and it’s not that we’re looking for a perfect situation. Is it too much to ask that we own up to our mistakes and make amends? In the meantime, asking Papa to help change us, applying ourselves diligently to not make the same mistake again.

Who do you love?

Love God with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” Mark 12:33


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About Ostara Schultz

Stephen & Ostara Schultz are a Mother/Son duo who are modern medicine healers known as the ‘Spiritual Chefs’. use kitchen analogies to teach how to become their own spiritual Five Star Chef, learning new transformational dishes to release Stale, Icy, old recipes of blocks, resistance and emotional triggers. They teach how to remodel the space they create from and cook up special and delightful life-banquets they’d like to experience and enjoy. They’ve ridden through their own Dark Night of the Soul when they experienced family disowning them, foreclosures, car accidents, near death experiences, drugs and the Complete Dissolution of Life as they knew it… as with any Initiation, this experience just prepared them to now support You… To walk through fire alongside you, to work through any issue or challenge by shamanically unwinding the brambles of spiritual and physical trauma and unlocking the Practical Solutions that have been hidden from You. They now live in the San Joaquin Valley with Eric, Stephen’s dad who is also Ostara’s husband on Life Purpose and puppies. Together they are helping people to create a signature sovereign lifestyle budding with abundance in love, spiritual gifts, money and all the self’s i.e. self-confidence, self-assurance, self-love to name a few. They inspire other heart centered entrepreneurs to align their businesses to a new paradigm of 5D consciousness. Ostara and Eric has a healthy sovereign daughter Lauren, who is happily married to Kyle, whom is absolutely adored by the Schultz’s, two grandchildren with one on the way, they are truly blessed. Reach out to them, they’d love to meet you. www.spiritualchefs.com hello@spiritualchefs.com Stockton Ca, USA Email: hello@spiritualchefs.com Facebook Ostara Facebook Stephen Facebook: The Spiritual Chefs
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4 Responses to Disenchanted

  1. Julie says:

    Very well done! You are gifted at telling the truth in a great way!
    Mary Joy I also appreciate you sharing, and sad for the pain—-I can relate in many ways and going to church is hard at times–although I admit I am far from perfect myself.
    Sharing a hardship is a sacred trust not to be cheapened by gossip…
    Church restrooms can be havens for gossip and half-truths. 😦 Motivations for sharing can be tricky—-
    God bless you both!

  2. HisTeddy says:

    Oh Vee I’m so sorry hun’ that those who are supposed to possess the most love and understanding have once again done the unthinkable and turned someone away with their words of judgment.

    I too am disenchanted at the moment. After years and years of not trusting the church I found a wonderful place to be and felt such a part of them that when I was forced to move away I was devastated and have never been the same since. I got to go back at the expense of my marriage but only for a short time and left again because it wasn’t working out where I was staying.

    Unfortunately, when I was moved away again, the phone calls have stopped. Its been a month since even one person called to say “How are you”, “We miss you”, “When are you coming back”, “Can we come give you a ride”. I don’t know, maybe its just an excuse not to go but after 43 years of this, I’m tired of it. 😦

  3. Gary G Abrams says:

    Until 1800 CAT I felt like this. When the evening service started, all anguish vanished! I need Gods presence like a junkie needs dope. Heb 12:2. This is truly awesome! Thank you Jesus!

  4. Mary Joy says:


    That is SO powerful!!! You are truly led by the Holy Spirit in your writing!!!! As a woman who struggles with disabilities, I have been through what you are talking about so many times! The hardest part is to remember that the church is a hospital for sinners. Meaning that those who are so cruel need his healing as well. Trust me it is SO hard to remember that. We pray and pray and pray for those doing the hurting. People think that they are not gossiping because they are repeating things with the–they sure need prayer….but it isn’t true….it is still gossip and it still hurts. I am learning how to handle it…how to confront it. How to deal with it. Thank you SO much for dealing with such a painful topic! You are an incredible writer and this is something that really needs to be dealt with. You are SO my sister in Jesus!!! 🙂

    Hope you Sunday morning is a wonderful blessing to your spirit and not a painful one.
    Love you sis!!!

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