“My own Beauty and the Beast Tale” My family and I recently saw “Beastly”. A modern day story of a favorite classic, “Beauty and the Beast”. I loved it and recommend it if you like a modern twist on a “fairytale”. After watching the movie, it inspired me to write about the beast within me which transformed into Beauty. As the Beast, I was mean and cruel – prideful, I was an abuser! It’s all I’ve ever known, so it’s what I emulated. Then God stepped into my situation, life began to change and rearrange itself, spiraling me into learning, healing and becoming the Beauty. He was not willing that I stay as I was… but He began to change me from glory to glory.
Before my healing had taken place, I had a very broken spirit. My self-esteem had been shattered by the years of abuse leaving me to feel an awful amount of shame. I felt so bad about myself, that I couldn’t bear acknowledging error on my part, and without being able to look at the errors within one’s self, there is no change, no healing. Needless to say, I was not an easy person to live with.
How does one recognize they need help if all they’ve known is survival! We learn to show a false but polite face to the public and let the real “us” come out in the home, with those we love the most. Many of my memories hold no pleasure for me, as many of them are of pain and loss. I truly believe that testimonies change lives. Testimonies are real people sharing some pretty horrific things, but when we hear that one testimony that sounds like they are speaking about our life, we can relate, can’t we? So I believe in sharing real things about myself. Some of what I share tends to sound negative. It’s been suggested to write positively, leave out the negative. I believe in balancing it with both, because in truth, wounds are ugly. When we can relate to a behavior, we can say… “hey, I do that” and realize there is need for change, thus we seek help!
I used to…
- Concentrating on what area’s others needed to fix
- Passing blame and making excuses
- Justifying self
- Anger and argumentative
- Embarrassment and shame
- Excessive amounts of pride etc…
Now instead I…
- Self reflect – realizing I can change no one but myself
- Love myself – Realize I’m worthwhile and needed in the world. I am unique and there is no one who can replace me
- Forgive myself – realize I have God’s approval and no longer need man’s, but it’s a plus when I do have it
- Do not judge myself – realize we are all on a journey and that means we learn from mistakes
- Take responsibility for my actions and apologize when I need to
- Maintain a peaceful inner self – Anger has been resolved with healing and understanding
- Humility is my posture and a true strength
I love being the Beauty! I don’t miss the Beast! Nope, not at all! Maybe you are not as broken as I was, but any Beast in us has the propensity to ruin something in our lives we truly love. Do not wait. Change doesn’t happen without our willingness for it. Reach for the Beauty, make it happen!
With all my love xoxo