Turning Relationship Woes into Successes

Enjoying each other

Learning to handle difficult relationships in a healthy manner is a challenge, isn’t it! We are unique, complex, opinionated, hurt, motivated and depressed, along with a million other things that can be named, but you get the picture. How do we handle the one person who frustrates and irritates us to no end?

The first place I start is to understand their personality. My favorite personality chart is the color chart. It’s simple, easy to follow, fun and relatively easy to remember. Below is a chart closest to the one I learned. I had to change some things around, so if you should visit the URL, you won’t find it exactly the same.

Color Personality chart compliments of http://www.docstoc.com/docs/409272/Personality-Colour-Chart


  • Sensitive To Needs Of Others.
  • Sincere. Expresses Appreciation.
  • Cooperative. Collaborative. Creative.
  • Caring. Team Builder And Player.
  • People Person. Engages Others.
  • Artistic. Inspirational. Spiritual.
  • Inclusive. Mediator. Peacemaker.
  • Idealistic. Intuitive. Romantic. Loyal.
  • Seeks Unity And Harmony. Caretaker.
  • Weaknesses: Over-sensitive, followers, not goal oriented
  • Dress: Casual, comfortable
  • Strengths: Dependable, team player, patient, supportive, nurturing
  • Dislikes: Pushy ppl, bullies, conflict
  • Key words: Team, together, relationship, family


  • “Just Do It” Action Oriented.
  • Quick-witted, Charming, Spontaneous
  • Playful. Injects fun into work.
  • Lives In Here & Now. Risk taker. Creative.
  • Enjoys Diversity, Variety, and Competition.
  • Multi-tasker, Cheerful, Energetic. Bold.
  • Quick Thinking and Acting. Takes Charge.
  • High Visibility Performer. Accepts Challenges.
  • Enjoys Problem Solving. Negotiator.
  • Performs Well Under Pressure. Resilient.
  • Voice: Loud and fast
  • Dress: Stylish, flamboyant, colorful
  • Strengths: Promoters, convincing, enthusiastic, positive, high energy
  • Weaknesses: Talk to much, poor follow-up, unorganized, exaggerate
  • Key words: FUN, excitement, freedom, lifestyle
  • Dislikes: Not having fun, facts and figures, bored


  • Respects Authority Rules, Routines, Policies.
  • Faithful, Dependable, Prepared, Efficient.
  • Remembers The Traditions That Work. Values Family.
  • Work Comes Before Play. Practical. Systematic. Orderly.
  • Identifies With Groups. Strives For A Sense Of Security.
  • Thorough, Sensible, Conventional, Proper.
  • A Right Way To Do Everything. Stick-To-Itivness.
  • Evaluates Actions As Right Or Wrong.
  • Stable. Organized. Punctual. Helpful.
  • Voice: Soft and polite
  • Dress: Formal and conservative
  • Strengths: Organized, planners, accurate, persistant, great follow through
  • Weaknesses: Over-analytical, hard to please, depressed, lonely
  • Key words: Why, graphs, charts, research, exactly
  • Dislikes: Pushy people, no facts, being late, lazy people


  • Looks Forward And Sees Impact Of Actions Taken Now.
  • Explores All Facets Before Deciding. Checks for Accuracy.
  • Careful Planner. Systemataic. Enlivened By Work.
  • Status Quo Buster. Designer Of Change. Inventive.
  • Systematic. Logical. Theoretical. Self-Sufficient.
  • Often Not In The Mainstream. Persistent. Thorough.
  • Intellectual. Inquisitive. Impartial. Improvement Oriented.
  • Voice: Soft and gentle
  • Dress: Formal, comfortable
  • Strengths: Dependable, team player, patient, supportive and nurturing
  • Weaknesses: Over-sensitive, followers, not goal oriented
  • Key Words: Team, together, relationships, family
  • Dislikes: Pushy people, bullies, conflict

Do you see yourself in this chart? You may be more than one color. I am Blue with my secondary color being Orange. I also have had outside influences which have left me with some characteristics of Green; although Green is not the color personality I was born with.

My husband is a Green with his secondary being Orange. Part of the Orange in my husband I can relate to is “Multi-tasker and risk taking”. I’m great at multi-tasking but I also take risks. It’s why at the age of 40 I got my motorcycle license and rode a motorcycle for the first time in my life. But as far as the Green in him, I have to go strictly by the chart to understand his thinking style. Understanding his Green has helped me to relate to his way of doing things… for instance, Greens really dislike conflict, meaning every time I wanted to discuss something – it was considered conflict, arguing and he would shut down. When I finally understood this, I was able to talk to him about how to discuss these kinds of matters without leaving a bitter distaste in either of our mouths, bringing about resolution as the outcome. It’s really cool! I use this same method for my children, my friends, those I coach… matter of fact, I teach these techniques to those I coach. It helps them understand themselves as well as others. It’s an empowering tool that will last the rest of their lives.

Second thing I consider is to understand any other influences. Circumstances, health issues, concerns, addictions and so on. Understanding one’s personality is a great place to start, but not the only thing to take into consideration. For instance, if someone just lost a relationship, they are not going to act their everyday normal self, maybe moody and depressed. If a women has started her period, if someone is diabetic or has the flu… maybe they are facing foreclosure.. All of these things can add something more to someone’s personality and if you know what to look for, you can see these changes as being momentary rather than whom they are! I hope my tips help to get you onto the right track to relationship success, as there is so much more to learn, but hey, it’s a great start!


About Veronica Schultz

We work with female entrepreneurs who are being held back by constantly putting other’s needs before their own. We show them how to create boundaries and build healthier relationships so they can live the life they truly desire.
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One Response to Turning Relationship Woes into Successes

  1. Jeannette says:

    Hi again Veronica,
    This new post was quite fun…..I think because I am 63 at this point in life Ive got alittle rainbow going….good,bad,warts and all…..I have a blue kitchen and my walls are painted blue,baby blue,my floor is navy blue ceremic tile,large area,I have eggplant color carpet,soft blue’s pink’s and purple and my bedroom is purple and gold…we are children of the King,so purple and gold are the color’s of our royal position in Him.

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